


Michael's Redemption

by madamelibrarian, Mrs_SimonTam_PHD



Series: Loving Heart [63]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Breaking Up & Making Up, F/M, Human Michael, Injury, M/M, Mating Bond, Mentions of Cancer, Panic Attacks, Secret Relationship, Sneaking Around, angelic divorce, it's a Christmas miracle...except it's not Christmas., vampire attacks
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-20
Updated: 2019-10-20
Packaged: 2020-12-27 04:57:47
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 5
Words: 14,770
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21113045
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/madamelibrarian/pseuds/madamelibrarian, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mrs_SimonTam_PHD/pseuds/Mrs_SimonTam_PHD
Summary: Michael has hoed a long, hard, row in their opinion. Losing a mate, being cast into the pits of Hell, made to live as a mortal female, and now confronting the mortal coil.Can Michael find the redemption promised years ago?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Holy Guacamole! Has it been a long time since we posted. But here we are. Another part of Loving Heart and a multichapter to boot. 
> 
> A note about the underage tag, it's because Mary is a few months shy of 18 and she gets some serious flirting on at some point in this story. 
> 
> Comments and Kudos are how we feel love. :D

Lucifer took a deep breath as he waited for Michael to show up. He arranged to meet with them at the bunker, while everyone else was out. He had something to talk about with his older brother and one-time mate, not to mention the father of his eldest child, but he was nervous. The topic of his Fall was touchy for this reason, but helping Mary through her break up with Eric the past few months had helped him immensely. He fiddled with the necklace that held Michael’s Grace in a vial while also spinning his wedding ring on his finger, both signs that he was nervous. 

Michael knocked on the door of the bunker, with their overnight bag slung over their shoulder. Having no idea why exactly Lucifer wanted to meet, Michael had hopped on the first bus leaving for Kansas when they heard the tremble in Lucifer’s voice over the phone. 

“Come in,” Lucifer called softly, now exclusively spinning the ring on his finger.

Not hearing Lucifer’s invitation through the thick door, Michael pushed it open and poked their head inside, calling out. “Heylel?”

“Come on in, Micha,” Lucifer called a bit louder. 

Stepping inside, Michael dropped the bag at the top of the stairs and came down the stairs. “I came as soon as I could. You sounded distraught. Is everyone okay? Nothing’s happened to your mates or fledglings, I hope.”

Lucifer turned and looked up at Michael. “Everyone’s okay. It’s just... there’s something we need to talk about, and it’s... a sensitive topic to me.” His knee was bouncing as if it was keeping time to some invisible fast-paced march inside Lucifer’s head. 

Michael’s head tilted as they sat down next to Lucifer. Their eyes darting down to the other angel’s leg. “What has got you so twisted up inside that it looks like you're about to take flight?”

Lucifer reached for their hand and took a deep breath. “I want to talk about what happened before you cast me out. Right before you did, to be exact.” He said softly. “The sex and bond removal.”

Sighing, Michael’s eyes shut as if to block out the impending conversation. “It was a long time ago, Heylel. A hurt that is best forgotten.” 

“Michael, that was the ultimate sign of rejection to me,” Lucifer explained softly. “And it’s caused problems ever since I was redeemed. I’m not going to go into particulars about my sex life, but when I drop? I can’t have anybody not be touching me, lest I lose them the same way I lost you. I couldn’t have my mates make love to me until maybe six months before Mary came into our lives. I _ still _ can’t deal with it too often. The mere phrase _ “make love” _ used to send me into a panic attack.” He looked down at the map and closed his eyes. “I thought you didn’t love me anymore. That... that maybe I wasn’t any good. It hurt more than the Fall, more than you throwing me into the Cage… more than any torture that Cage could have devised.”

Michael hung their head, shaking slightly as long curls hid their face from the shame they felt. “I shouldn’t have done it the way I did, but some part of me hoped that by me making love to you would change your mind about rebellion. That you’d stop it all for me and if not, then at least I had that memory of you. If I could take it back I would.” 

“And my memory of you?” Lucifer asked quietly, in a voice that sounded raw with emotion. “Of you... loving me the way you used to before humans were created before tearing my heart out and casting me out of our home?”

“What do you want, Heylel?” Michael said, lifting their head to reveal eyes threatening to overflow with tears. “For me to prostrate myself and beg forgiveness? I can’t change the past. I’m human and dying inch by inch without power to do what I could before.”

Lucifer shook his head numbly. “Just to know why. Just... to have confirmation that I wasn’t some whore to be used for your pleasure before throwing me out.” He choked on his next words. “To know that you had loved me.”

Michael knelt down in front of Lucifer and cupped his face. “Heylel, I loved you as I held you. I loved you when we fought and I even loved you when the door slammed shut on your prison. You never were and never will be a whore for anyone's pleasure, let alone my own.” A tear slipped down Michael’s cheek and hung on the edge of their chin. “I died that day, so it’s only fitting that this cancer eating away at my body take me and put an end to it all.”

Lucifer sniffled softly. He didn’t want to remember that Michael was already dying, that they had been diagnosed with cancer and that it was all so recent, all so new. He didn’t want to remember holding Michael that day in the doctor’s office, trying to be his former mate’s rock and breaking down as well. “No, Micha, it’s not. We’ve both suffered enough. Through Hell. Through separation. Through humanity.” He grasped Michael’s shoulders. “I need my starlight, even if you’re just my older brother now.” He whispered almost brokenly. 

“I’ve accepted it and made peace with Father in human fashion.” Michael leaned up and pressed a kiss to Lucifer’s cheek. “I’ll always be your starlight, just as you’ll always be my morningstar.” 

Lucifer broke down sobbing, tears running down his face in rivers. He couldn’t lose Michael, not now, not when they’ve come so far.

Unable to take seeing their brother so heartbroken, Michael wrapped Lucifer up in their arms and held him tight while whispering. “It’s okay… I forgave you eons ago and you forgave me… It’ll all be okay in the end, Heylel.”

Lucifer shook his head, clinging to Michael fitfully as he sobbed into their shoulder. He couldn’t speak, he just cried. 

“Well, this isn’t what I was hoping to see when I dropped in,” Chuck remarked thoughtfully as he walked over to his two eldest and crouched down next to them. “Little Nova? Are you okay?” 

Lucifer shook his head and clung to Michael tighter.

“I told him about the cancer and my acceptance of my fate,” Michael explained as they turned a tear-streaked face to Chuck, their hand going to stroke over the back of Lucifer’s head. “And a painful trip into the past didn’t help.”

“You know Heylel’s never dealt with death well, Michael,” Chuck said gently, sitting down next to them. “And especially when he’s gotten his answers. He wants that time to rebuild and renew; not to mourn. It might be why he’s averse to winter.”

“I’m human, it had to happen eventually, so I’m not fighting it.” Michael turned to press their face to the side of Lucifer’s. “This is the natural order and I won’t cheat Death.” 

Chuck was silent for a moment, watching them quietly. 

“I’ll cheat it for you.” Lucifer coughed. “I shouldn’t have to outlive my big brother. I don’t _ want _to outlive my big brother.”

“Not this time.” Michael pulled back and forced Lucifer to look them in the eye. “You have to live for your family. Your children need you and your mates do too. You’re going to say goodbye to me when the time comes and go on living for them. You deserve that.” 

Lucifer shook his head. “I’m not saying goodbye, Micha. Not now. It’s too soon. You’re my family too. Even before Malachi, there was us. You are my family, Micha. My brother and my former mate. And I will fight to make sure you’re alive for as long as possible.”

“You’re a beautiful, selfish bastard, but I won’t have you upending reality to keep me in this world.” Michael drew in a ragged breath. “I want to go home, Heylel. I’m tired and I want to go home.”

“You _ are _home,” Lucifer whispered. “You have your brothers and your son and your niece and nephews.”

“That is your family. Earth was never my home and you know it.” Michael scrubbed the tears from their cheeks. “How’s that old song go?” Michael started to sing softly, the notes broken by tears. “_ Throw your loving arms around me, I am weary...let me rest.” _

“_ Lean on me, when you’re not strong,” _ Lucifer combated with another sob, _ “I’ll be your friend, and I’ll help you carry on. _”

Chuck cleared his throat and waited for both of them to look at him. “As beautiful as this is, you two do realize there’s another way to get what you want, if you’ll accept it, Michael.” He said softly. 

“Accept what?” Michael asked barely above a whisper, too afraid that they’d lose all composure if they spoke louder.

Lucifer whimpered quietly. 

“Your Grace. It’s around your brother’s neck.” Chuck said. “I think you’ve learned your lessons, and I’m sure Heylel can agree. If you want... You can be an archangel again.”

“Father,” Michael began, “This body would never be able to contain my Grace. It’d explode into atoms at the first touch of it.”

“And you assume I haven’t thought of that?” Chuck smiled softly. “It’ll return you to a male vessel suited for your needs. This body can die, naturally. You’ll be home, in Heaven again; and Heylel will still have you in his life.” 

Lucifer looked up at Michael pleadingly for him to accept the offer. “Micha, please?” He whispered. 

It was Michael’s turn to sob, hiding their face behind their hands as they wept in relief and joy. Although death was easy to accept, the pain of their passing was not and Michael had been terrified of it for long enough that it was a constant thrum in their mind. 

Holding Michael close, Lucifer wrapped arms and wings around his former mate and the father of their child. “Micha.” He hummed soothingly before singing Michael’s favorite hymn. _ “Abide with me, fast falls th’eventide...” _

Michael let out a watery chuckle when they heard the song. “Memory like a steel trap.” Sitting up, Michael wiped their face clean. “Guess I’ll have to get used to you reminding me of all that old stuff since it would seem I’m staying for a while longer.” 

Lucifer laughed happily and nuzzled into his shoulder. 

Chuck smiled and waited for his children to calm down. “I take it that means you accept, Michael?”

“Yes, Father. I accept.” Michael said as they sat up straighter like they had held themselves when the world was young and angel-kind still had a semblance of innocence. 

Chuck smiled and looked at Lucifer. “Little Nova, would you like to do the honors?” 

Lucifer sniffled and nodded, wiping away his tears before pulling his necklace off of his neck. He whispered a soft spell in Enochian, and the small cork to the vial fell out, releasing Michael’s Grace. 

The Grace searched out for Michael and trickled into their mouth in a thin blue wisp of vapor as they stood from their seat. Within no time at all, their body was glowing and their eyes went wide before they disappeared utterly in a burst of energy that sent loose papers blowing in all directions, leaving Lucifer and Chuck alone in the bunker. 

Lucifer buried his face into his Father’s shoulders, tension seeping out of him and weeping his gratitude. 

“Hey now,” Chuck said as he patted Lucifer on the back. “He’s fine and will be back soon. That new vessel of his will take a little getting used to.” 

“I know,” Lucifer said wetly, grabbing his Father’s shirt to try to ground himself. 

“Come on, Little Nova. Dry those tears.” Chuck said as he wrapped an arm around his son’s shoulders. “Michael will be back to Earth soon and then you two can harangue each other until the stars burn out. Just don’t blow any up.”

Lucifer laughed and pulled his very wet face up and looked at his father, trying to dry his tears. “Sorry, it’s been a day.” He mumbled. 

“It’s been a millennium for me,” Chuck said with a wry grin. “Now, I think you should tell your family what’s happened and maybe start planning a coming home party for Michael. He’d like that.” 

“Oh... Yeah.” Lucifer said, fumbling for his phone. The first call he made was to Gabriel. “Gabe? Are you there with Sam?”


	2. Chapter 2

**MONTHS LATER:**

Mary Rose had begged and pleaded with her Uncle Dean to allow her to come on the hunt with him. She’d been training since she was thirteen and now that she had just had her seventeenth birthday she felt she was ready to go out into the field. Dean had been reluctant at first but eventually agreed to take her on a simple salt and burn. Having promised Sam, Lucifer, and Gabriel up and down that he would keep their daughter safe. Castiel had worried about Dean going on a hunt without one of them but Dean assured him that a little ghost wasn’t something to worry about, even if Dean was in his mid-fifties. He reminded Castiel that Bobby hunted up until his dying day, and Bobby was ten years older at the time than Dean was now. 

She’d been so excited on the drive to Montana, singing along with Dean to his rock music and going over the lore and rules over and over again, like a catechism. As expected, the salt and burn was simple. A restless spirit attached to an old dilapidated house in the middle of nowhere, but what they hadn’t expected was that the same house was a nest for vampires. Fifteen in all. Dean had tried as best as he could to protect Mary Rose, taking out three of the bloodsuckers before he was thrown into a wall hard enough that his skull smacked against a support beam and knocked him unconscious. That left Mary Rose alone to face the rest of the nest alone as she tried to get her Uncle to safety. 

“I can hear your heart, little one.” The head vampire teased as the group circled around the pair of hunters. “It’s so fast. Are you scared?” 

Mary Rose clenched her fist around the machete and forced herself to breath slower but didn’t answer. She had to find a way out and was tempted to call for her Mother and Father but she didn’t want them to think she couldn’t handle herself. 

Faster than the eye could follow, the same vampire who taunted her was at her side with his hand fisted in her hair, tilting her head back so that her neck was pulled taut while his other arm gripped her like a vise to keep her still. His breath reeked of old blood and the blonde in his beard was stained a rust color from feeding. 

“Don’t be scared.” He whispered in her ear. “When we’re done here, you’ll be one of us and you can have your partner as a present.” Before she could try and protest, the vampire sunk his fangs deep into her neck, piercing her carotid artery. The other vampires stood around, waiting their turn, laughing and cheering him on. 

She let out a cry of pain as tears slipped down her face, her mind racing as the blood was drained from her and her vision started to fade. She didn’t even think about what she was saying as an old prayer Lucifer had taught her for hunters started tumbling from her mouth in a bare whisper. “In name of the Father, … of the Son, ...of the Holy Ghost... glorious Archangel St. Michael, Prince of the heavenly host, d-defend us in battle...in the struggle ... against the principalities an’ Powers, against th’ rulers of this world of darkness, against spirits of evil in high places.”

A flash of white light came through the air as Michael landed in the building, hearing his prayer for the first time in millennia. Spying the vampires, he smote them quickly, catching Mary in his arms. He was tall, with brownish ginger hair and a brighter ginger beard; hair long and tangled, and he held Mary close as he healed her and then Dean.

Dean groaned from his place on the floor and Mary Rose’s eyes fluttered half-open, looking up at Michael with a weak smile. She didn’t know what had happened but all she could see were pale blue eyes staring down at her. “You came.”

“I did.” Michael smiled softly. Holding Mary in his arms, like this, he felt something stir inside him but he wasn’t sure of the feeling.

“No sword?” She asked weakly as her hand came up of its own accord and stroked across his beard. She was too tired to think about what was going on, all she knew was that she was dying and this angel saved her. She knew it was an angel from the way he appeared, she just didn’t really know which one. 

“Your mother has it, and technically my sword is already here.” Michael murmured, walking over and sitting down next to Dean while cradling Mary Rose in his lap. “Dean?”

Dean moaned like a man with a hangover when he sat up. Michael’s healing may have taken care of the split skull but it still left behind a massive headache. “What happened? Mary?” He asked, thinking for a moment that the angel beside him was one of his brother in laws or Castiel. 

“Mary is fine,” Michael said soothingly.

Dean’s eyes widened when he registered that the voice he was hearing wasn’t from any angel he recognized. Standing quicker than he probably should, Dean snatched Mary out of Michael’s arms and scooped her up into his own, slowly backing up toward the door. “Don’t you touch her.”

Michael held up his hands in placation and surrender. “Easy. I know you haven’t seen me yet, but I’m Michael and I’m not here to harm you or anyone else, Dean.” He said calmly. “Nor am I seeking you out as a Vessel. I promise.” 

Narrowing his eyes at him in distrust, Dean diverted his attention for a moment to look at Mary who was out cold, her head dipped back from lack of support. He remembered Gabriel mentioning something about his brother having a new vessel but old prejudices died slow and hard. 

Seeing the front of her shirt covered in blood, he lowered her to the floor amongst the corpses and gave them a cursory glance before checking his niece thoroughly for wounds or bites. Even going so far as to open her mouth and taking a perfunctory sniff for blood. All he smelled was the mint gum she’d chewed earlier and a hint of latte he’d let her have. 

Michael waited patiently, his hands in his jeans pockets. He watched and waited. He knew Lucifer was waiting, but this was important, just as important. Lucifer would understand. Especially considering it was his daughter. “She prayed to me, Dean, and I came to her aid.” He said softly. “I no longer mean any ill will towards you or your family.”

“Did she drink?” Dean asked, his mind not trusting his senses and he needed reassurance because there was no way in hell he was going to go home and tell his family that he let Mary Rose get turned while in his care. It would be bad enough when Lucifer found out that they’d faced vampires.

“She did not, the vampire hadn’t finished feeding when I showed up,” Michael reassured Dean. “Why she prayed to me? I don’t know. But she did. And I came because I recognized it was her and that she was in trouble. And, imagine the hell Lucifer would put the _ both _of us through if I heard it and didn’t do anything.”

“From your mouth to Chuck’s ears,” Dean grumbled out as he pressed the heel of his hand to his forehead. It was all too much to deal with on top of his headache. Blinking rapidly, he stood and wavered on his feet. “Thank you, Michael. For...saving her. Us.” Dean’s words came out stilted like he was reluctant to admit that Michael came to their rescue. 

“Of course, Dean.” Michael walked over and helped steady Dean. “Would you like for me to remove your headache?”

“I’ve had worse from too much whiskey. It’ll pass.” Dean waved him off. “Just gotta rest a little before I drive off.” 

“Of course,” Michael said, backing off slightly. “Let’s get her into the car, away from these mongrels.”

“Yeah.” Dean made to stoop down to pick her up and flinched when the blood flowing into his head from the change of angle made his headache flare-up. “On second thought, just get us home. Don’t forget my car.” 

“Of course,” Michael said. Gently laying a hand on Dean’s shoulder, he flew the three of them and the Impala back to the bunker and groaned. “Lucifer’s going to murder you.”

“Won’t be the first time,” Dean grumbled as he picked Mary Rose up and started stumbling down the hall toward her room. 

“I feel a disturbance in the force.” Gabriel rumbled in his best Darth Vader impression as he walked in behind Michael, just missing Dean’s entrance. A smile split his face when he saw Michael for the first time. He swore his father had a terrible sense of humor by creating a vessel that was so similar in looks to Ewan McGregor it was eerie. But a bad sense of humor or not it gave him plenty of fodder to tease his elder brother. “Well if it isn’t Obi-Wan Kenobi. What brings you to the Rebel base?” 

Michael gave an amused look to his younger brother. “I’m back and all juiced up again, Malachi. This is the new Vessel Father gave me.”

“So Luci told us,” Gabriel said as he circled around Michael, letting out a low whistle. “Look at you being all red and coppery with the beard and hair.” He stopped when he was in front of Michael. “You still didn’t answer my question. Luci didn’t mention you were coming by and you usually call before coming.” 

“Emergency dealing with the hunt Mary and Dean were on,” Michael said. “Dean asked for a lift home.”

Gabriel’s expression darkened as fear swept through him, a million scenarios running through his mind about what could have happened. “Where are they?!”

“Dean went to go put Mary in her room.” Michael soothed. “They’re both okay, just a little banged up. No doubt shortly we’ll be hearing Lucifer screaming. I went to them because Mary prayed to me, Malachi.”

Nodding, Gabriel disappeared without a further word to check on his daughter and Dean. He had to see that they were safe for himself. He arrived in Mary’s room just as Dean was stretching out beside her. “Dean? What happened?” 

“We’re fine, but I don’t want to talk about it,” Dean said as he pulled the throw blanket over the both of them. “Just want to sleep off this headache and let Mary rest. You three can kick my ass later.”

From the deep recesses of the bunker, everyone could hear the dulcet tones of Lucifer shouting in both an excited manner due to knowing his brother was alive and safe as well as panic, sensing his brother in law/son in law and his daughter and knowing that they weren’t in the best of shapes.

Dean groaned and rolled over as Gabriel tucked him and Mary in. “Can you keep Lucifer to a dull roar?”

“I’ll try, but if he’s like this now, imagine what’s going to happen when Michael tells us the story you don’t want to talk about.” Gabriel murmured. 

“I’d like you to pour a hundred-year-old whiskey on my funeral pyre before you light it.” Dean sighed as he wrapped his arm around Mary Rose’s waist, comforted by the sound of her breathing. 

Gabriel snickered and patted the hunter on the leg before bending down to press a kiss to his daughter’s forehead. Straightening up, he left the room in search of his brothers in an attempt to prevent a possible World War III. 

Michael sighed and looked at his mildly fuming brother and former mate. He held his hands up in mock surrender. “Now, Heylel, before you get upset, please appreciate the new Vessel Father had selected for me.” He soothed. “And everyone is safe, aren’t they?” 

Lucifer growled softly. 

“Calm down, Lucifer,” Michael said softly. “Everyone’s in one piece - thank you, by the way - for teaching her that prayer. It was very easy to find her.”

Lucifer marched over to his brother and simply hugged him very tightly. “Mine.” He growled softly. 

Michael gave a quiet laugh. “Always my possessive Morningstar.” He murmured. “You have your own mates, you know.” 

“But you were the first.” Lucifer sighed, leaning his head against Michael’s shoulder. 

“Nice to know where Sam and I stand.” Gabriel teased as he came into the room. “Heylel, please stop molesting your ex.” 

“I’m not molesting him.” Lucifer protested. 

Michael looked at Gabriel with a fond sort of smile. “You know how he is after a separation,” he said softly.

“Like an excitable puppy with a new ball,” Gabriel said as he sat on the couch. “Now, Dean was totally clamming up about what happened. So I’d like to know what in the name of Odin’s left nut happened to my daughter.” 

Lucifer nodded emphatically, taking a step back and thumping his ex in the chest with a finger. “Yes, I’d like to know that as well. What happened?” 

Michael sighed. “The salt and burn was also combined with a vampire nest. Dean was knocked out and Mary was nearly turned.” He admitted. “I got there before she could even drink his blood, though.” 

Lucifer growled and balled his fists into Michael’s shirt, and the older archangel quietly soothed his former mate, knowing how agitated Lucifer got whenever his children were hurt. 

“I knew we shouldn’t have let her go.” Gabriel huffed. “Sam’s gonna flip when he hears this. But the more important question is why are Dean and Mary still hurting if you healed them?”

Michael sighed. “Mary simply passed out afterward, it is a bit of a shock having your prayer answered.” He explained softly, rubbing Lucifer’s back. “And Dean said, as he put it, ‘had headaches worse from drinking too much whiskey’. I offered, and he just had me take them home.” 

“My little one,” Lucifer whispered. 

Michael pressed his lips to the top of Lucifer’s hair. “She’s safe, Heylel.”

“Thank you, Michael.” Gabriel said sincerely, “I don’t know what we’d have done if you hadn’t gotten there in time.”

“Murdered Dean,” Lucifer mumbled.

Michael laughed softly and looked at Gabriel. “He may be right.” He admitted. “Speaking of children, is my son home?” 

Gabriel pointed up to the ceiling, “He took the twins Heavenward for a little TLC. First molt and being earthbound was playing havoc with them. Sam’s grocery shopping.” 

Michael smiled and looked down at Lucifer. “I know there’s much to catch up on, Morning Star, but you should tend to your children. I’ll be fine.” 

“Promise?” Lucifer asked, looking up at Michael.

“Promise.” Michael smiled. “Tend to your sons. I’ll be here for a while.”

“He’s right, Luci. You have to relieve Cas in a few hours. In fact, considering the hunt we should probably go get him.” Gabriel offered as he stood up. 

Lucifer nodded and withdrew from Michael to nestle in Gabriel’s arms.

Gabriel kissed Lucifer on the forehead. “Go check on Mary and I’ll leave Sam a note, then we can leave.” 

Lucifer nodded and did so. 

Gabriel clapped Michael on the shoulder as he passed by him. It felt good to have the family together again.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Michael has a few very important conversations.

A few weeks after the hunt, Castiel found himself once more in Heaven to consult with the garrison assigned to Earth. The seraph had recently taken up the task of instructing them on how to interact with humans without frightening them or harming the vessels they would need to inhabit. He’d just finished his first instructional lecture when he caught sight of Michael lingering in the back. Dismissing the class, Castiel went rigid out of old habits learned from when Michael was in charge of all the armies of Heaven. He nodded to the Archangel and addressed him formally. “Viceroy.” 

“Castiel,” Michael said softly, giving a small smile. “You’re an excellent teacher.”

“Thank you, Viceroy,” Castiel replied stiffly. 

“You don’t need to call me that,” Michael said softly. “I’m no longer the Viceroy of Heaven.”

Sighing, Castiel’s shoulders went lax as he turned to the blackboard that’d been conjured for the classroom and began to scrub it clean. “Then what do you propose I call you?” 

“Michael or Father,” Michael said quietly. 

“You can’t be serious.” Castiel turned and glared at him, “Hasn’t the Host had enough megalomaniac angels trying to take Father’s place?”

“I’m not talking about taking Father’s place,” Michael said. 

“Ah, so you are speaking of our familial connection.” Castiel turned back to the board to continue cleaning. “I think refraining from calling you ‘Father’ would be best.”

“Why?” Michael asked, genuinely curious. 

Castiel became more agitated by the question then he expected himself to be and dropped the eraser into the tray a little harder than necessary. “Perhaps because you stole my memories and condemned me to Earth. Or your sanctioned torture of the Winchesters. Your choices.” 

Michael sighed regretfully. “I did. And it wasn’t right. In no way shape or form. It was for selfish reasons and I am so _ very _sorry. I got caught up in what I wanted and what I thought Father wanted and destroyed my family and everything else.” 

“That word is so easy to use.” Castiel turned to face the Archangel, his eyes narrowing. “Let me be quite clear about us, Michael. Your Grace may have been instrumental in forming me and you may have been redeemed in Father’s eyes, but you will never be more than my superior and General of the Host.” 

“I know. I don’t expect your forgiveness for it, Castiel. No more than I expect Lucifer’s. I broke my word for a selfish reason and I don’t expect you to forgive me or call me Father. That was... foolish of me to suggest, and I apologize.” Michael sighed and sat down in front of Castiel, taking the more submissive position.

Castiel regarded the archangel for a moment, his mention of Lucifer bringing to mind how much time Michael had been spending in the bunker. Sharing stories and being far more intimate with Lucifer than Castiel had thought appropriate. He knew that Gabriel didn’t mind it because he understood how angelic bonds worked but Castiel was unsure. Especially after overhearing a conversation between Sam and Dean, where Sam was voicing his discontent over the situation. Castiel figured now was as good a time as any to broach the subject. 

“If I may offer some advice regarding Lucifer.” The seraph took a step closer and leaned forward on the desk so that he was clearly in Michael’s face, his whole being radiating that of a warrior. “Find a mate of your own. He holds you dear to his heart and I fear it will eventually interfere with his current bonds. You will not tear this family apart again. Do we have an understanding?”

“I cannot be mated anymore, I don’t think, Castiel,” Michael said in a sad voice. “I don’t think I _ should _be mated anymore. Mating Lucifer long ago... it did things to me that shouldn’t have been done, and when he rebelled... I do more harm as a mate than good.”

“The point still stands,” Castiel said in a dangerously calm tone. “Do not meddle with Lucifer’s affections. I may only be a seraph but I will not hesitate to do to you what I did to Raphael if you hurt us or him.” 

The eldest angel in Heaven gave a small smile, one of pride. “You are so much like your mother.” He whispered softly. “My intentions are not of harm, but of repair. I hurt Lucifer terribly before I cast him out of Heaven, and it’s caused several issues that linger today.” He looked up at Castiel contritely. “I want to heal him, in whatever way I can. So he can enjoy the mates who _ truly _are his, more fully.” 

Seemingly satisfied, Castiel rose to his full height and nodded. “Good. Sam worries and has a jealousy streak that comes forth from time to time. I only want what is best for all.” 

“Do you think I should talk to Sam?” Michael questioned. 

“Father, no!” Castiel said with an exasperated tone. “He and Dean are already tender in regards to you and the fact that Mary Rose seems to find a way to bring you up in conversation whenever she can.”

“Oh?” Michael sounded surprised at that tidbit of information but filed it away in the back of his mind for the time being. “I still think it can be beneficial for me to talk to Sam. He doesn’t know what I did to Lucifer, and why I’m so close to him now.”

“If you think it necessary,” Castiel said, shrugging as he knew he would be unable to convince Michael otherwise. “Be aware that he does have an Archangel blade in his possession.”

Michael nodded in acknowledgment of the warning and stood up to look at his son. “You’ve grown to be a wise angel, Castiel. And even if you wish to never recognize our familial connection, know that I am proud of you. And that I always have been.”

**.oOo.**

Michael knocked on the door of the fledglings’ nest and looked at Lucifer’s human mate, who was making sure that William wouldn’t knock off a glass of water off the nightstand in his sleep. “Sam? May I have a word when you’re done?” He asked softly. He had just emerged from his cuddle session with Lucifer, which he had cut short because, as his former mate put it - ‘Gabe’s stealing panties again’. Not minding, the eldest archangel had deemed now a good time to talk to Sam about the relationship. He wasn’t looking forward to explaining _ why _Lucifer was now cuddly and lovey towards Michael (the memory of Lucifer’s shocked look as he tore apart the bond and pushed him out of Heaven after making love to him still stung him hard), but he was willing to talk. 

Sam glanced up at Michael and clenched his jaw so hard that the twitch of muscle was visible and he was sure he cracked a tooth. “Yeah.” He said once he’d pushed his initial reaction to deck the angel in the face to the side. “I’ll meet you in the library.” 

Michael nodded and retreated to the library, scratching at his beard absently. Down the hall, he could hear Lucifer give a cry of pleasure and he shook his head in amusement and felt a twinge of jealousy. 

A few minutes later, Sam came into the library. He’d spent the entire evening watching Lucifer imitate an octopus with Michael and now instead of joining his mates in what sounded like the start of a stimulating night, he was stuck talking to the eldest Archangel instead. He tried to remind himself of what Gabriel told him earlier in the week, as he went to the liquor cabinet and poured a small glass of whiskey. Green was not a good color on him. “You wanted to talk?”

Michael nodded. “It’s about my relationship with Lucifer, past, and present.” He said softly. “I know you tend to be highly jealous when it comes to your mates, and thought I could... explain a few things that Lucifer and Gabriel may not have told you or haven’t explained well, if at all. I want to ease your mind Sam, and actually help. Not be shoved in a corner.”

“My mind is at ease.” Sam gave a false smile and took a sip of his drink. “Lucifer is faithful to us. Possibly even after I’m dead.” 

“That sounds like my brother to a T, but jealousy often masks things that others may not see,” Michael said softly. “And I know that you’re jealous, Sam. Jealous of the way Lucifer clings to me and hangs on my every word as if he were a fledgling listening to an invigorating bedtime story. Not to mention that there are things I did that still affect his present relationships now, and I want to explain what those are and how they happened.”

“Oh, you mean how we have to cajole him into anything other than rough sex?” Sam huffed as he walked around the table. “Thanks for that one.” 

Michael winced. “Precisely. Lucifer himself has probably told you the basics of what happened. It is not something I am remotely proud of. I hated myself the moment I did it.” He took a deep breath. “I’m not expecting forgiveness, Sam. It was an unforgivable act, and I’m surprised Lucifer’s gone and forgave me for it. To him, making love is a sign that you’re going to leave him. And I am completely to blame for that.” He ran his fingers through his short hair. “There is so much I did to him that unintentionally hurt him, but when I look back, it was for my own reasonings. Maybe, I had thought, if I make love to him he’ll change his mind. That he’ll stay with me, accept humanity.”

“Then you didn’t know your own mate very well, Michael.” Sam said as he stopped pacing around to face Michael, “He’s stubborn to a fault. Loyal, loving and a holy terror if you wrong him. And I love him. I didn’t want to, in fact, I despised him and at one time would have thrown a party if he would have dropped dead. But I forgave him over time and now I’d sooner throw myself to a pack of starved hellhounds than hurt him or Gabriel. That’s the difference between us. I wouldn’t hurt him and you did. Over and over. For that, I don’t like you.” 

“I know you would,” Michael said softly. “And I know that I did. And I cannot even begin to describe how incredibly apologetic I am. And I know I’m eons late. But Sam, I never stopped loving him. I died when I threw him in that Cage and took my son to Naomi. I still love him, but I can never be his mate again. I’m not bitter about that fact, nor am I going to try to steal him away from you. Right now, Lucifer needs reassurance that I do love him. That’s the reason for the cuddling. It’s a reassurance, much like he needs reassurance that you and Gabriel love him.”

“I understand that! Don’t you think I do?” Sam asked as he slammed his glass on the table. “It eats me up inside that he thinks he still needs that from you. That he lights up when you come in the door in a way he never does with me.” Sam’s voice started to rise in volume the more he spoke. “That one day I’m going to be old and withered and there you’ll be. His first everything all loving and caring and understanding.” 

“And he’ll choose you over me every time,” Michael said quietly. “I can only be his brother now, Sam, and never his mate. And, to be honest, I’m not the being he needs. He’s never needed me. He wants me to love him and praise him, yes, and he worships the ground I walk on. But I cannot be his mate. I _ shouldn’t _have mated him in the first place. I’m not saying he was a mistake, or that I regret our time together. I don’t need to describe what it’s like being mated to the Light Bringer, you know what that’s like. But you’re right. I didn’t know him very well. I may’ve raised him and loved him and held him, but I didn’t know him. And he’s made that clear numerous times.”

“Then why did you do it?” Sam asked harshly. “Why’d you mate him, if you knew he wasn’t ‘perfect’ for you?”

Michael sighed. “I was in love, Sam. I loved him with as much passion as you do now. And he was... persuasive. And he wanted a child. You know how he is around children. And I was the only angel he showed an interest in. He wanted me as his mate and the father of his child. And there’s a phrase I’ve heard used, ‘You never forget your first’. I gave him everything I could, and it wasn’t enough. _ I _wasn’t enough for him. Or perfect.” He hung his head in shame, feeling tears stinging his eyes. “I wanted to help him, and all I did was hurt him. And now, all I want to do is heal the wounds that I left behind. Is that such a bad thing to want? I know you won’t ever forgive me for what I did to him. Gabriel won’t either. All I’m asking is understanding.”

Sam took a deep breath and shoved his hand through his hair as he thought about what Michael was telling him. It was true that overall Lucifer seemed brighter lately. Like a weight being lifted from his shoulders and even though Sam would rather chew nails than see his mate with Michael, he wouldn’t take that happiness from him. “Alright, I’ll try to...give you latitude where Lucifer is concerned, but it has to stay platonic. The first hint that either of your feelings are changing toward each other I want you gone. You’ll tell him why and just leave.” 

Michael nodded. “Honestly? I don’t think that’ll happen. Lucifer’s too head over heels for the two of you.”

“Once upon a time, I also thought he wouldn’t hop in bed with my brother to kill a siren. But it happened. I can’t see into the future, I can only prepare for it.”

Michael visibly shuddered. “I may go vomit.” He confessed. “That image... it’s nauseating.”

Sam nodded as he picked his glass back up. In his mind the conversation was over. 

“Sam?” Lucifer’s voice was quiet, scared as he took in the scene and feeling like Sam and Michael were fighting. He knew that they may never be friends, but he wanted them to be civil. This looked anything but civil.

Michael remained in his seat, knowing that Sam came first, not him.

“Heylel, baby.” Sam turned a bright smile to his mate and left his drink behind to go and give Lucifer a kiss. “Thought you and Gabe were… occupied.” 

“We finished,” Lucifer mumbled, turning pink and leaning into Sam, almost burrowing into him. “Are you mad?”

“No, I’m not mad,” Sam said as he glanced back at Michael. “We were just having a chat is all.”

“You sounded mad,” Lucifer admitted quietly. 

Michael looked at Sam and gave a sad smile, as if to say _ you will always come before me, Sam. _

“Maybe I got a little heated, but it’s fine now. We’ve come to an understanding and found at least one thing we had in common.” Sam pulled back and stroked a finger along Lucifer’s cheek. “I’ll come to bed in a minute.” 

“Can I say goodnight to Micha?” Lucifer asked, staring at Sam’s lips instead of his eyes like he usually did when he was feeling vulnerable and didn’t want to have eye contact. He also usually asked Sam’s permission to even be near Michael if Sam was nearby. 

Sam paused and then nodded. “Sure, Heylel. You can say goodnight.” 

Lucifer withdrew and came over and hugged Michael tightly, giving him a brotherly kiss on the cheek. “Night, Micha.” He murmured. 

“Goodnight, Lucifer. Sleep well.” Michael said, hugging him back and inhaling his scent before sending him on his way. 

Lucifer scurried out of the library as if he had been burned. 

Michael sighed heavily as he watched Lucifer leave before looking up at Sam. “Thank you, for being the mate I never could be.”

Nodding in acknowledgment Sam turned and followed Lucifer to bed, a little more secure and content with the dynamic between Lucifer and Michael.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Michael helps break through one of Lucifer's walls but ends up sending his ex into a panicked spiral.

Lucifer sat straight up in the nest, breathing heavily as he woke up from the nightmare he had been having for the past two weeks. Noticing his still slumbering mates, he carefully crawled out of bed and made his way to the larger bathroom down the hall to splash water on his face. He had a large gash in his leg, and ever since it appeared (wrestling with angel blades and his eldest son had its consequences) Lucifer had been having nightmares. It twinged and he smacked it hard, wincing at the impact. Due to the largeness of the wound, Lucifer had been hesitant to let either son or mate heal it, and so he suffered on in silence.

It was in the small hours of the morning and Michael hadn’t acclimated himself to the wide-awake feeling his Grace gave him, which meant that he was using the time to work on his drawings. A skill he discovered while living as a human in the convent. It soothed him when his mind was filled with too many thoughts. The sound of the bathroom door by his dormitory-style room being opened and then shut again was strange enough that it piqued his curiosity on which of the children may be ill. Laying his pad of paper aside, Michael quietly walked to the closed bathroom door and gently knocked. “Hello? Is someone sick?”

“No, just... I’m fine.” Lucifer called through the door softly, patting his face dry. 

Hearing Lucifer’s voice and not one of the children was more concerning to him, so Michael opened the bathroom door and quietly entered. “Heylel, if you were fine then you’d be in bed with Sam and Gabriel.” 

“I’m fine,” Lucifer repeated a bit more firmly, obviously favoring his leg. “Just needed to get up and walk in here. Was planning on heading back in soon.” He looked over at Michael and gave a tired smile. 

“Ah.” Michael said as if the explanation was clear, then raised his eyebrow at his brother. “So you didn’t use the en-suite bathroom in your room because your leg needed a stretch. Perhaps you’d like to pull my other wing.” 

Lucifer shook his head and took a deep breath, letting it out. “I’m fine, Mikey.”

“Now I know you aren’t.” Michael walked up to Lucifer and crossed his arms. “You don’t call me that terrible nickname unless you want to irritate me enough to leave. Now, if it were over who was cooking breakfast I’d let you have your way and leave, but considering that you  _ still _ have that wound and are up walking around like a specter, I’m not leaving until you actually tell me what is bothering you.” 

“Nothing’s bothering me, and it’s just a wound, Michael. I’ve had plenty of those over the past few millennia.” Lucifer snipped, getting a bit agitated. 

“Then let’s wake Sam and Gabriel, so they can get you back to bed and hopefully heal that gash before it infects.” Michael snapped right back. “I could even wake Dean.” 

“No, it’s fine.” Lucifer pinned a hard glare at his brother, but there was something else in that expression. Fear. 

“Heylel, why must you be stubborn about this?” Michael jabbed a finger in the direction of Lucifer’s leg. “That needs healing. You won’t do it yourself, you won’t let anyone else do it. Castiel looks at you like he committed a mortal sin and yet you hold everyone at arm’s length.”

Lucifer cowered underneath his brother’s jabbing finger before setting his jaw in place. “I’m stubborn because I am a fucking masochist, Michael.” He hissed through clenched teeth. 

The hard expression that Michael’s face held melted away into confused surprise. “A masochist? You despised pain. The slightest feather out of place that caused you discomfort and you didn’t rest until it was righted. How can you be a masochist?”

“I’m being incredibly sarcastic, although I don’t say no to a good hard spanking delivered by Sam.” Lucifer sighed. “Just... go to bed, Mikey. I’ll be fine.”

Michael looked relieved but sighed in frustration as he headed for the door. “I’m getting Sam and Malachi. If you won’t listen to me then you’ll listen to them.” 

“No... please don’t. They need their sleep.” Lucifer protested, limping over to Michael and stopping him. 

“They need to care for you more.” Michael reached up and grasped the sides of Lucifer’s face, holding him gently. “You’re in pain and there is no shame in asking them for help because they love you. But if they continue to ignore this, they are not fit to be…” Michael drifted off as he realized the cruel thing he was about to say and decided to rephrase. “Why won’t you let us help?”

Lucifer stared at Michael’s chest, starting to breathe heavily. He didn’t want to tell Michael that the reason he was up was that the nightmare of him hurting him in the Cage cropped up again; nor did he want to explain that he panics at the mere mention of someone else healing him. The small stuff, like ripping his knuckles open after punching the wall and muscle aches, he could allow Gabriel to do. Something like this? Nope. 

Seeing Lucifer starting to get agitated, Michael did the only thing he could think of. He wrapped his arms around him in an attempt to hug him calm as he used to when they were younger. 

Lucifer struggled with a soft, almost submissive whimper

“I’m sorry that you hurt and that you can’t or won’t tell me why to let it hurt like this. I love you, Heylel and only want to do what’s best for you and your family.” Michael whispered.

Lucifer gave a quiet sniffle. He knew he had to tell Michael but he didn’t  _ want  _ to. Was afraid to. “‘Ove you too.” He sniffled. 

“Let me get Gabriel to do something about your leg, or let me do it.” Michael tried to convince him once more. “You’ll sleep better when it’s done.” 

Lucifer shook his head, a tear falling from his lashes. “No, don’t, p’ease,” he murmured.

Michael petted a hand over the back of Lucifer’s head. “Won’t you tell me why?”

Lucifer shook his head again, leaning into Michael’s touch. “No.”

“Then let’s get you back to the nest. You can try to sleep once more.” 

“No.” Lucifer grumped, knowing he was in no condition to do so.

“I swear it’s like talking to William when he needs a nap,” Michael grumbled. “So tell me, Lucifer. What do you want?”

That made Lucifer pause and he shuffled from foot to foot, unsure until the gash in his leg screamed and he gave a quiet sob, clutching Michael tightly. 

“That’s it,” Michael said in exasperation as he scooped Lucifer up into his arms and seated him on the edge of one of the sinks. “You are in pain and you will heal yourself or I will,” he said firmly. “I grow weary of your obstinance.”

There was a change in Lucifer’s behavior at that. Suddenly, his eyes were downcast and his entire being spelled ‘submissive’. Almost as if he were waiting for punishment. 

The change in Lucifer made Michael stop and really study him. This was not the angel he remembered or the one he’d reacquainted himself with. This being was like a dog who’d been beaten too many times and was now shy of the hand who’d fed it. He’d never seen Lucifer do this with any of the others and that’s when it dawned on him. He was the cause and that revelation struck him to his very core. “Heylel...do you believe I would harm you?”

Lucifer gave a slow shake of his head, the same one he gives when Gabriel’s asked him that question in the past. He sniffled, tears flowing a bit faster now. 

“Do you fear my touch? My Grace?” Michael asked quietly.

Lucifer rocked his hand back and forth slightly, withdrawing more at the answer he gave. 

Michael took a step back as if Lucifer had struck him, his eyes squeezing shut as he forced the next question out and block out the memories it invoked. “Do you think I’ll send you back to the pit?”

Lucifer shook his head slowly, and yet he trembled. His hands wrapped around himself and rubbed his biceps as if to get warm.

Having opened his eyes in time to catch Lucifer’s answer, Michael took a ragged breath. “Alright, Heylel. It’s alright. I’m not mad but I don’t know how to help you if you fear my Grace even a little bit.” He ran a hand over his beard. “But you have to know I wouldn’t hurt you. Not now. Not ever again.” 

Lucifer nodded. “Know that. Don’t... “ He frowned, trying to put it into words as his good leg kicked absently. 

“But you still don’t want me to touch you that way.” Michael finished for him with a sad frown, “I understand. It’s not...I understand.” 

Lucifer hopped off the counter and nestled into Michael’s arms. “No.” He said. “Know you won’t hurt me. Scared. Afraid. Been having nightmares. Don’t go, please?”

Michael hesitantly wrapped his arms around him. “I’m not going anywhere. At least until Dean kicks me out for making the coffee wrong again.” 

Lucifer snuggled into Michael’s arms, before crying softly. It had been so long since Michael’s healed him - and healed him properly- and he wanted to feel it again. But he was scared, so scared. 

“Please, let me help somehow. I hate seeing you in pain and now you’re crying.” Michael whispered to him. “My Morningstar never cried.” 

“Talk me through it, please.” Lucifer whimpered quietly, sniffling as he kept crying. 

“Talk you through...healing you?” Michael asked.

“Step by step.”

“Okay.” Michael took a breath and kept Lucifer in his arms. “I’m going to hold you just like this, and then I’m going to let my Grace flow into you, seeking out the damage and putting it right. It’ll be gentle. I promise.” 

“‘Kay,” Lucifer mumbled, burying his face into Michael’s neck and trembling. 

“Here we go,” Michael said before he pressed his hands a little tighter against Lucifer’s back as his Grace did exactly as he described. It was a warm and soft trickle, like heated syrup running through his brother until it gathered around the wound and began closing it up. 

Lucifer hiccupped and whimpered, but clung to Michael all the tighter. 

The warmth intensified slightly before it slowly ebbed away leaving Lucifer’s leg looking brand new without even a scar. “There we go. All done.” 

Lucifer nodded, crying into Michael’s shoulder as he hung off his brother’s frame.

“Heylel? Are you okay?” Michael pulled back and looked at his brother in concern. “Did I hurt you?”

Lucifer shook his head hiccupping. “No hurt.” He managed to say.

Back in the nest, Sam didn’t know why he woke up out of a sound sleep. There weren’t any unusual sounds other than Gabriel’s soft snoring and the distant rumble of thunder from an oncoming storm. Lifting his head, he scanned the room and noticed that his back was unusually cold. Turning over he looked to the center of the nest and found that Lucifer was missing from his usual spot. Rubbing the sleep from his eyes, Sam quietly got up and pulled on a pair of boxers before he walked out of the bedroom to search for his wayward mate. He was on his way to the kitchen, thinking Lucifer might be getting a snack or something to drink when he heard the sound of crying coming from the bathroom next to Michael’s room. Crying that sounded suspiciously like Lucifer. 

Instantly concerned, Sam opened the bathroom door and stopped when he saw Lucifer in Michael’s arms, a brief stab of anger running through his heart at the thought that Michael could be the cause. “Heylel? Michael? What’s going on?” He asked calmly, his voice filled with the concern that he was feeling most of all. 

Lucifer turned at the sound of his mate’s voice. Wriggling out of Michael’s arms, he dashed over to Sam and buried his face into his chest. “He heal,” he mumbled. 

“He did?” Sam asked as he slowly encircled Lucifer’s trembling frame with his arms, his eyes flicking up to Michael and filled with gratitude. He’d been discussing with Gabriel on how to convince Lucifer to be healed for days. 

“Uh-huh.” Lucifer sniffled. “No hurt.”

Sam bent his head so that he could rest his lips against Lucifer’s ears and whispering low so that he wouldn’t be overheard. “Do you need the box?” 

Lucifer hesitated but nodded. He hated admitting that he needed the box after having so many strides in his recovery.

“Alright, Baby.” Sam breathed out and turned Lucifer in his arms so they could walk properly, but before he went anywhere, he looked to Michael and said with every ounce of sincerity in his soul. “Thank you.” 

Michael gave a small smile and nodded. “Of course. I hope it helped him. And thank you, for knowing what he needs.”

Sam nodded and led Lucifer back to their room but stopped at the closet on the way to get his box of supplies to help him through these kinds of moments. “Heylel, can you tell me why you need the box? About what happened in the bathroom?”

Lucifer rocked his hand back and forth, gluing himself to Sam’s side. “Stuff.” He mumbled. 

“Okay, can you be a little more specific?” Sam grabbed the box and put his arm around Lucifer once more, guiding him back to the nest. 

“Pain,” Lucifer mumbled again, resting his head on his mate’s shoulder. “Drained.”

“No wonder.” Sam opened the door and nodded toward Gabriel who’d just woken and was rubbing his eyes. “Get in bed, Baby.” 

“What’s goin’ on?” Gabriel asked sleepily. “Everything okay?”

Lucifer crawled back into bed and pulled his blanket up and around his shoulders, waiting patiently for Sam. 

“Luc’ let Michael heal him,” Sam explained as he set the box on his nightstand and pulled out various items and holding them out to Lucifer to choose what he felt he needed. 

Gabriel’s eyes widened in surprise as he turned to Lucifer, the surprise quickly turned to a sweet smile as he brushed his brother’s hair from his face. “Sweetheart, I’m so proud of you for asking someone for help.” 

Lucifer took one of the small silver interlinked rings, a “fidget” toy they found on Amazon a few years back and the teddy bear Dean had given him. He then grabbed the whiteboard and marker and wrote in large letters -  _ he wasn’t supposed to be awake.  _

“Regardless, you let him and now your leg won’t hurt anymore,” Gabriel said as he fixed some pillows behind Lucifer to make him more comfortable. 

Sam sat down beside him and stroked a hand over Lucifer’s bicep. “I know this was an issue for you before because of what happened in the past. How do you feel now?” 

_ Better. Still wary. Still... Not right. But better.  _ Lucifer he jotted down before he leaned back into the pillows and ran his fidget toy around his fingers. 

“You can rest now, Heylel,” Gabriel said as he laid down beside Lucifer and tucked the teddy bear up by their heads.

“We got you,” Sam assured as he mirrored Gabriel and put his arm around Lucifer’s waist. “Whenever you’re ready to talk. We won’t push.”

Lucifer nestled between them and rested for a bit before writing. His voice felt too raw for speaking.  _ I had gone into the guest bathroom so I wouldn’t wake you guys. I wanted to splash water on my face and breathe. And Michael came in and pushed a bit. Couldn’t fathom why I was allowing myself to be in so much pain.  _

“None of us could, but we know you’d ask eventually,” Gabriel commented. “What happened when he pushed?”

_ Shut down. It got to the point where I just went submissive and quiet. And then he learned how to add two plus two and get it to equal four.  _

“Then what happened?” Sam urged as he started to stroke Lucifer’s stomach, almost like he was trying to soothe a stomach ache. 

_ Asked how he could help. Said his Morningstar never cried. _

Sam resisted the urge to snort derisively once he finished reading Lucifer’s message as Gabriel shot a warning look at his taller mate. 

_ And I told him how to help. Told him he needed to talk me through it, step by step. And... he did. _

“How did you feel after?” Sam asked, having a good idea but wanting Lucifer to actually say it or write it as the case may be.

_ Good. Like really good. But... release sucks. Crying sucks. I mean so do I, but that’s different. _

Both Sam and Gabriel chuckled at Lucifer’s remark about sucking and squeezed in tighter to him, effectively making him the middle of their little sandwich. “Did it feel better than this?” Gabriel asked in an attempt to take Lucifer’s mind off the more negative aspects of this slight drop and maybe give Sam a little peace of mind. He knew how the human struggled lately with his self-esteem when it came to them. “Cuddled tight and warm between us.”

Lucifer smiled and shook his head.  _ Never. Here is where I belong. _

Sam let out a sigh of relief he didn’t know he’d been holding and pressed his face into the crux of Lucifer’s neck. “Love you, Heylel. So damned much.” 

Lucifer smiled and kissed Sam’s forehead.  _ I love you too, Sam. Now can someone please fetch the gel mask? This headache is being a pain. _

“I’ve got pants on, so I’ll get it.” Sam offered and got up, padding out of the room with a hurried stride. 

Gabriel waited until the human was gone and propped his head upon his hand to looked down at Lucifer. “This might have healed more than just your leg. I hope you realize that.”

Lucifer nodded.  _ Yeah. I know.  _ He looked up at Gabriel and gave a small smile. 

“He’s getting older and a little insecure. We knew this day would come sooner than later.” Gabriel said as he laid his head on Lucifer’s shoulder. “Humans are so fragile.” 

Lucifer ran his fingers through Gabriel’s hair, speaking directly into his mind.  _ Indeed. And he’s a silly human. As if I could leave him. Especially for Mike. I mean... I’m not gonna fuck Obi-Wan. Hell no. No. N. O.  _

Gabriel barked out a laugh that quickly had his whole body shaking against his brother in mirth. He loved the fact that everyone was catching onto the nickname he’d given Michael. When he finally calmed down, he kissed Lucifer quick and playfully. “You have a wonderfully geeky mind sometimes.” 

Lucifer smiled and kissed Gabriel back.  _ I know.  _ He snuggled more into Gabriel.  _ I love you.  _

Smirking, Gabriel pulled him in close and whispered. “I know.”

Lucifer giggled and rested his head against Gabriel, smiling up at Sam who had returned. 

Slipping the mask onto Lucifer’s face, Sam pulled off his boxers and burrowed under the covers, making sure that some part of him was touching Lucifer. 

Lucifer snuggled into Sam, not fussing as much about the coldness of his mask, and tugged Gabriel closer to him. 

Sam reached across Lucifer and took Gabriel’s hand, twining their fingers together. “Love you too, Gabriel.”

“I know,” Gabriel smirked against Lucifer’s shoulder and then closed his eyes. 

“Did he just Han Solo me?” Sam asked, amused by his antics. 

Lucifer made an affirmative noise and gave a quiet yawn. 

Sam wanted to argue but decided sleep was more important at the moment, but not before muttering. “I’m not a princess with danishes on my head.” 

Lucifer giggled hysterically, squirming between them to rest. 


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mary Rose goes for a walk and makes a very important decision.

The family sat around the dinner table laughing and generally talking about the day. All except Mary Rose, whose eyes hadn’t left Michael since they started eating. When he first came to live with them, she thought that she had a case of hero-worship and being a sensible girl she’d rationalized that it would pass. Especially after seeing how close he was to her mother. Unfortunately, it hadn’t. Three months after the vampire hunt where he came in like a knight in shining armor and she still was smitten with him. He was kind, smart and handsome. All the qualities that she found highly attractive.

Michael laughed and playfully shoved Lucifer for the raunchy joke he just told. “You’re  _ filthy,  _ Lucifer.” He scolded. 

Lucifer dramatically batted his eyelashes at his older brother. “I know.” He purred. Yipping, he looked at Sam and Gabriel, both sharing twin looks of innocence. “Who poked me??”

Michael shook his head in fond amusement and went back to eating. 

Gabriel pointed to Sam and Sam pointed to Gabriel but quickly changed to Dean.

“Wait a second!” Dean protested through his laughter when he saw the gesture. “How am I gonna poke him from six feet away when Gabriel is right next to him?”

“Magic!” Shouted William from his chair, his mouth covered in gravy. 

Mary Rose smiled and she wasn’t sure if it was because Michael was smiling or if it was her family's antics. 

Gabriel held up his hands and grinned. “They do say idle hands are the devil’s playground.” 

Sam groaned at the joke and buried his face in his hands while Castiel and Dean laughed. 

Lucifer laughed and waggled his eyebrows playfully before leaning over the table to wipe William’s face. “Messy eater, just like your father.” He chided playfully. 

Michael chuckled and smiled at the antics and at Mary Rose. Lucifer  _ did  _ know how to have beautiful children, that he had to admit, and Mary was radiant like her mother. He knew better than to try to court her, knowing that Lucifer would  _ not  _ hesitate to murder him. Painfully, too. So he kept his distance and watched her stare at him like a lost puppy. 

Mary caught Michael looking at her and blushed slightly, but when he looked away she felt like she’d been kicked in the gut and she didn’t know why. What she needed was to get out of the house for a little while, clear her head. Finishing what she wanted of her dinner, she wiped her mouth clean. “Mom, do you mind if I go for a walk after dinner? I won’t go far.” 

Sam looked at his watch and frowned. “Sunset is in ten minutes. I don’t think it’s a good idea.”

“Oh, come on. Please? I did all my chores plus helped Will and SamSam with his.” Mary pleaded, looking to Gabriel for help. He was always the one to get the other two to bend if needed. 

“Don’t look at me.” Gabriel defended himself. “After what happened with the vampires there’s not a person in this room that’s going to let you go out alone after dark. You know we changed that rule.” 

“They’re right, Princess,” Lucifer said softly, smiling sympathetically at his daughter. “Furthest away I’ll let you out after dark is the garden.”

“Then can I be excused to the garden?” Mary Rose asked politely. 

“Let her go, guys. Anything damned fool enough to come around here with three archangels, a seraph, and two hunters deserves to have their head examined, let alone an ass-whooping.” Dean said as he finished his mashed potatoes, 

“Yes, Princess.” Lucifer smiled. 

“Thank you.” She said in a rush and hurried out the door, bypassing a coat or shoes. 

“What’s gotten into her?” Sam asked, looking at his mates for an answer. 

Gabriel had an inkling of what was happening but it was only suspicion and conjecture. Ones that might send both Winchesters and Lucifer through the roof. So he kept it to himself. Sometimes he wondered if he was the only one who remembered what Chuck had told them when Mary Rose first came to them.

Lucifer shrugged. “Could be usual teenager type things. I did the same thing when I was her age. She’ll be fine, babe.” He ruffled Samson’s hair and hoisted his clingy son onto his lap. “What’s up, little man?” He said warmly. 

Samson laid his head on Lucifer’s shoulder. “Can I have pie now?”

Lucifer laughed and nodded. “Yes, Samson, you may have pie now.” He said. 

Michael smiled and quietly excused himself from the dinner table, not caring too much for pie and eager to get back to his drawing. 

Mary walked around the garden, taking deep breaths and thinking carefully about what to do. Did she throw caution to the wind and tell Michael that she liked him or did she ignore it and move on with her life. It was a hard choice. She’d thought that she loved Eric and he’d taken the trust and affection she had for him and ground it into dust, leaving her heartbroken. She kept thinking in circles and was about to go for the easy solution of ignoring Michael when she remembered something Uncle Cas had told her. He’d said that sometimes it was appropriate to be patient and careful with your heart but sometimes if you didn’t take chances when they were presented, you could miss out on some of the best moments in life. Biting her bottom lip, she steeled up her courage and marched back into the bunker. When she didn’t see her family at the table, she peeked into the kitchen but didn’t see Michael. Working on a hunch, she turned around and headed to his room. 

Facing his door, she felt the butterflies in her stomach start flapping around like crazy. Taking a deep breath, Mary Rose raised her hand and knocked lightly on the door. 

“Come in,” Michael called softly, erasing a line he had made in error. 

Mary Rose poked her head inside and spoke softly. “Can I talk to you?”

“Of course,” Michael said warmly, setting aside his sketchpad and graphite. “Come on in.”

Stepping into the room, she shut the door behind her and stood in place with her hands clasped together in front of her in an attempt to not nervously pull on her hair. Mary Rose tried to look at Michael and talk but found that it wasn’t as easy as it sounded in her head, so she looked at the design on his shirt instead. “So I wanted to tell you something and I’d totally understand if you think it’s stupid, but I tried to forget it and it wasn’t working, and I have a hard time sleeping sometimes. Plus Uncle Cas says sometimes you have to go for it, so I’m going to go for it but you don’t have to agree or anything.” She rambled quickly. 

Michael got up and walked over to Mary, tilting her head up so she had to look at him. “Slow down, and try that again.” He coaxed gently, his own heart racing. 

Mary Rose couldn’t help it, her hand drifted up and started tugging on the end of the braid draped over her shoulder. “I like you, okay? Not like an uncle because you’re not an uncle. Not really.”

“Then as something more?” Michael asked gently. 

She pulled away from him and started pacing around the room. “Yes, dammit. I thought it was just a thing because you rescued me from those vampires. I’ve read that that is a thing because of endorphins and oxytocin or something like that. But I can’t stop thinking about you. It’s...distracting. And God help me if mom finds out because he’s still sore about my last boyfriend.” 

Michael watched her and on her next pass by, he gently grabbed her by her bicep and pulled her close. “To hell with your mother.” He murmured to himself before pressing a soft, chaste kiss to her lips, giving her the invitation to take or reject. 

At first, she let out a muffled squeak when his lips met hers, but the feeling of his soft, warm lips had her quickly melting into his arms, her hands curling into the fabric of his shirt in an attempt to pull him closer. 

Michael felt her melt and he wrapped a hand around her waist to keep her close while his other hand cradled the back of her head tenderly. 

In the distance, the sound of Dean and Castiel’s voices coming down the hall, more than likely to their room, brought Mary Rose back to reality and she reluctantly ended the kiss but didn’t move from Michael’s hold. “So...does this mean you like me too?”

Michael smiled and nodded. “Yes, it does.” He murmured. 

Mary Rose smiled brightly and threw her arms around his neck, hugging him tightly. “I was so scared you’d say I was a stupid kid and laugh about it with everybody.”

“Oh no.” Michael laughed softly, hugging her just as tight. “No. Now, all we got to do is hide this from your mother and your uncle.”

“I’m not good at that,” Mary said with a sigh. “One time I tried to keep a bad grade quiet but Papa and Daddy just knew. And kept dropping hints all over the place until I was a nervous wreck.” 

“Oh, Gabriel.” Michael sighed. “Don’t worry, we’ll figure it out.” He kissed her forehead tenderly. “Your mother will be looking for you soon. You should go make sure he doesn’t do anything drastic.”

Mary Rose pulled back and smirked. “You mean like start putting bells on my clothes? He already did that when I was ten. I kept hiding in the garage to read romance novels.” 

Michael laughed softly. “And that’s the most hypocritical thing I’ve heard your mother do, considering he raids the supernatural romance novel sections of bookstores.” 

“Yeah, I might have been sneaking his new ones before he could read them.” Mary Rose blushed a little. “But you’re right. I should get back to my room. Can I come back later and we can talk or something?”

“Of course. Just listen for the dulcet tones of your mother getting laid to come back.” Michael chuckled. 

“They really need to fix that soundproofing again.” She grumbled before leaning up and giving Michael a soft kiss, this one not as chaste as the first. 

Michael gave a soft sigh of contentment before drawing away. “You should head back to your room.” He said softly. 

“I know.” She drew away from him and bit her bottom lip as she started to turn the doorknob. “And just so you know...your beard tickles my nose but I kinda like it.” She eased out of his room and shut the door, only to turn around and coming face to face with Gabriel. “Papa!” she exclaimed, looking like she just got caught with her hand in a cookie jar. 

Gabriel raised his eyebrow at Mary Rose and looked toward the door. “I’m going to pretend that I didn’t just see you come out of Michael’s room, but a word to the wise. Keep your eyes on the hall because Dean is two doors down and has ears like radar dishes.” Bending down, he kissed her cheek. “Don’t make me regret keeping this secret.”

“I-I won’t.” Mary Rose stammered, her mind unable to wrap around what was happening. Shouldn’t Gabriel be threatening punishment or something like that?

“Good girl, now go. Your mother is about to send a search party into the garden for you.” He said before he continued down the hall toward his original destination. 

“Mary? Did you come back inside?” Lucifer called through the bunker, as if on cue. 

Mary Rose swallowed hard and purposefully walked toward the sound of Lucifer’s voice. “Yeah. I’m inside now.” She shouted back when she didn’t find him immediately.

“Alright. Make sure you’re in bed at a decent hour.” Lucifer called back, rounding the corner and finding Mary. “There’s my Princess. You doing okay?”

“I’m fine. Great even.” She said with a smile as her fingernails bit into her palms, once again trying to keep from tugging her braid which she really wanted to do to distract her from her heart pounding a mile a minute in a panic that she’d be found out. “Never better.”

He smiled and kissed her forehead. “Alright. You’re amazing. Never forget.”

“You’re pretty awesome too.” She said as she started to skirt around him. “I should get to my room and do some homework. Can’t graduate without homework, right?”

“Nope, not at all,” Lucifer said, kissing her temple. “Go do your homework.”

Hurrying off to her room, Mary Rose rushed inside and threw herself onto the bed, screaming into the pillow to let out the bubble of emotions inside. A tumultuous mess of nervousness, fear, and excitement. When she’d finished, she rolled over and hugged the pillow to her chest and smiled up at the ceiling. “I kissed him. I kissed an angel.” She whispered to no one but the stuffed animal beside her. 

Later on, Mary didn’t have to wait very long for the sounds from her parents' room bleeding through her walls. She heard a distinct laugh from Lucifer, Sam, and Gabriel and then a solid thump of their door being shut. Waiting a couple more minutes, she snuck out of her room and walked soft-footed down to Michael’s room. At least some of her hunter training was getting used.  _ Thank you, Uncle Dean _ . She scratched lightly on the door and waited, barefoot and in her pajamas. 

Michael opened the door quietly upon hearing the scratching, wearing sleep pants and a tank top. “Come in.” He whispered. 

Mary Rose entered the room and let out a sigh of relief. “Do you know I ran into Papa right outside your room after I left. He nearly gave me a stroke.” 

“Gabriel has that habit.” Michael smiled, looking down at her. “Didn’t raise your mother’s suspicions?”

“No, but Papa says to not make him regret keeping a secret.” She looked up at Michael with a worried look. “I nearly dug a hole in my hands when I was talking to mom. I don’t want him to kick your ass. I don’t want anyone to kick your ass.”

Michael smiled and tugged her into his arms. “You let me deal with people wanting to kick my ass.” He murmured. 

“But they have swords and at least two Archangel blades.” She rested her hands on Michael’s biceps. “It’s...worrying is all.”

Michael tucked her ponytail behind her ear. “I’m an Archangel, I’ll be fine.” He assured her. 

“Okay.” Mary Rose finally conceded leaning into the hand that’d been rearranging her hair. “Now that we’re past my little panic, what do you want to do?” 

“What do you want to do?” Michael hummed. 

Mary Rose opened her mouth to speak but ended up shrugging first. “I honestly don’t know. I’ve never done this before and my last boyfriend always wanted to make out as soon as we were alone. At least after the first week.” 

“Idiot.” Michael murmured. “Want to watch me sketch?”

“You draw?” She asked with sincere interest. “What do you draw?” 

“Whatever I can,” Michael said with a smile, sitting down with his sketchpad and showing his latest - a picture of Lucifer with his violin in hand. It was obviously of a much younger Lucifer, likely the one he knew in Heaven. “This is how I remember your mother.”

Mary Rose sat down beside him so that she was pressed up against his side, so she could see the pad better. Or at least that’s what she told herself. “It’s beautiful. I didn’t know mom played the violin.”

“Your mother is a very talented archangel,” Michael said with a smile. “He’s the Head Angel of Music, and he loves playing. He doesn’t do it very often though.”

“He sings instead.” Mary Rose offered. “We once sang the entire Phantom of the Opera on a trip to Kansas City. Except for the high notes for Christine. I can’t sing that high.” 

“Not many people can.” Michael smiled, shading in his artwork a little bit. “Your mother has one of the most beautiful voices in all of Creation.”

Mary Rose chuckled. “Then you’ve never heard him mad at the Dad’s when they tease him too much. He gets this squeak that you can barely hear at first then his voice breaks making him sound a little like Mickey Mouse for a second.” 

Michael chuckled. “Oh he’s gotten mad at me plenty of times, I know what you’re talking about.” He smiled softly. 

Looking over the drawing, Mary Rose smiled then tapped the corner of the page. “Do you have other drawings or just mom? Please say there other stuff.” She turned her face up, waiting for his answer. 

“Of course there’s other stuff.” Michael laughed softly, bringing out a full sketchbook. “Here you go.”

She took the book from his hands and started flipping through the pages, stopping from time to time to comment on one drawing or another. Mary Rose almost reached the end when she stopped completely and stared in disbelief. There was a drawing of her from a side profile with a mischievous smile on her face that made her look like she was plotting something. “You drew me.” She said quietly.

“Of course I did.” Michael smiled, looking at her warmly. “I couldn’t help it. That look you get when you’re thinking of something devious...”

“What about it?” She turned to look at him, her mind turning with curiosity. 

“Makes me happy,” Michael said, looking at her with affection. 

Mary Rose laughed. “That look usually scares the family. I probably put cornstarch on Uncle Dean’s deodorant that day and jock itch cream in mom’s toothpaste.” 

“And you’ve inherited your father’s love of pranks.” Michael laughed. 

“But learned from Uncle Dean.” Mary Rose pointed out and looked back at her picture for a second before plucking Michael’s pencil out of his hand and jumping up from the bed, turning her back to the angel.

Michael laughed. “And what are you doing?” He asked her, sliding up behind her to watch. 

“No peeking.” She said as she sidestepped and turned so he couldn’t see. Sticking out her tongue so it was wedged in the corner of her mouth, Mary Rose made several strokes with the pencil and after a minute she handed the pad back to him. In the top right corner where it wouldn’t interfere with the drawing was a heart with her name and Michael’s written in what Lucifer called ‘Traditional Enochian’. 

Michael smiled and leaned in to give her a chaste kiss on her cheek. “Traditional Enochian. Very good.”

Mary Rose blushed under the praise but looked directly into his eyes, “So a _ ‘very good’ _ gets a peck on the cheek. What do I do to earn a real kiss?”

“Hmmm...” Michael hummed playfully, considering his options. His eyes twinkled mischievously. 

“Now who’s being a Trickster?” She teased. 

“No tricks here.” He teased right back, winking at her. 

Mary Rose took a step closer into his personal space. “Is that so? Then answer the question. How do I get a real kiss from you?”

Michael smiled as he slid more into her own personal space. “Maybe you’ve gotta ask for it.” He hummed. 

“So the polite approach.” The tip of her tongue slipped over her bottom lip. “May I please have a real kiss from you, Michael?”

“You may.” Michael smiled, leaning in to kiss her sweetly. 

To make up for the height difference between them, Mary Rose stood up on her toes and gripped the front of his tank top and closed the distance. Once again his lips were soft but this time she dared to unfurl her hand and cup his cheek, her thumb brushing over his beard. 

Michael rested his hands on her hips and drew her in closer. 

It’d been so long since she’d been kissed like this that Mary Rose became a little overzealous and carded her fingers back into Michael’s hair, tilting her head to deepen the kiss with just a hint on her tongue against Michael’s lips. 

Michael groaned softly and withdrew a little bit. “Let’s take this slow.” He whispered. 

Mary Rose dropped her eyes as her cheeks and neck turned a bright shade of red. “I’m sorry. Got carried away.”

“It’s fine.” Michael soothed, kissing her quickly. 

“I’ve been told I have an excitable nature.” She explained. “I’ve also been told I’m a prude. It’s kind of a conflicting message.” Turning her gaze up to Michael, she nibbled on her lower lip. “But I liked the kiss.”

“I’m sure you’re just fine the way you are.” He assured her, smiling down at her. 

Mary Rose watched him for what seemed like forever as she wondered something that she had to ask to satisfy her curiosity. “Michael, is it weird that we kissed so quick? I mean, it’s only been a few hours since I told you that I liked you.”

“No, it’s not weird.” Michael chuckled. “Believe me, your mother would be impressed.”

“Mom’s impressed if he can make it from the pantry to the stove without getting kissed by someone.” Mary rested her cheek against Michael’s chest and winding her arms around his waist. 

Michael laughed softly and held her close, rubbing her back. “Your mother is easily impressed when it comes to things like this.”

“I guess I should go back to my room soon.” She sighed but made no move to leave. 

“Most likely.” He agreed, not making a move to usher her out. “If only so we don’t incur the wrath of your mother.” 

Mary Rose hummed as she kept holding on for a moment longer. “I don’t want to go.”

“I know.” Michael murmured, brushing his lips across the top of her head. 

Knowing that it would be a near Armageddon if she was found in his room at this time of night, she finally took a step away and smiled shyly. “I’m going to go to bed now.”

Michael nodded and smiled, tilting her head up and kissing her lips softly. “Sleep well, Princess.”

“Now I’m not going to be able to hear that without thinking about you kissing me.” She breathed out. 

Michael chuckled. “I’d apologize, but I’m not really sorry.” He teased lightly. 

“You better be careful because I can tease too.” Smirking, Mary Rose backed out of his embrace and took a step toward the door. 

“I have no doubt of that,” Michael smiled. 

Mary Rose’s mind immediately turned to what she could get away with in front of her family that could get Michael back for this evening’s teasing. “Sleep tight, Michael. Don’t let bedbugs bite.”

“Goodnight, Mary.” Michael hummed pleasantly. 

Learning from earlier, Mary Rose peeked into the hallway and slipped out before she could be tempted to stay. Scurrying off to her room for the second time that evening, she shut her door firmly behind her and sighed as she leaned against it. The smile plastered across her face couldn’t be wiped away if she tried. She had never felt like this with Eric. He was kind at times but there was always an edge of showing off. Michael was different in a way that Mary Rose couldn’t pinpoint completely nor did she care too. She preferred to just experience the elated mood he brought about in her. 

Michael beamed at his closed door and turned a page in his sketchpad. Lucifer in his younger days could wait. He just wanted to sketch him and Mary Rose together. He didn’t remember feeling this sense of ecstasy outside of sex with his former mate before, at least not to this level. Lucifer brought out the elation of a proud big brother, but Mary Rose brought out something else, and he wasn’t about to let a little overthinking destroy it. 


End file.
